Coming out as trans to my family

My life is my own  story and  my own truth.  It is my journey, and in theory it sounds like it should all be  about me , yet  i  just can't help but  think about  people close to me , my family...

I have never had to come out to my family  because  they  know about my gender expression and  sexual orientation although it's something that is not talked about. I have always wondered why, but i guess it's because i  also never spoke about it,  to be honest i didn't feel the need to. It could also be the fact that i never encountered any homophobic or transphobic  slurs or attitudes  from family or close relatives.

If anything my family has stood for me whenever the issue of my sexuality was brought up in a manner meant to denigrate me. Even my father being a very strict man  he has never brought this topic up. He calls me Miles,  he is loving and kind to all my  LGB friends in Zimbabwe. I always get the feeling  that he looks more at my achievements as an individual rather than who i am in love with.

For a long time this has felt so comfortable and safe,  until recently..

Lately  i  have been  feeling like i have to explain my journey to my family. In as much as we  never had to talk about my being Transgender, something inside so strong tells me i have to come out to my family.

It's  its been 3 and half years since i last saw my family and the next time i see them there will be changes which we will all have to deal with..

So last week , i  decided to do the obvious, came out again to my sister. I  had to choose the one person i know is queer  and  would understand what transgender and transitioning means. As i expected she reassured me of her love and  support any day. She was however  concerned about  the rest of the family, and how they would react   because in her view they assume that i am lesbian and they have made peace with that.When i  told a long time friend about my decision to come out to my sister,  she thought i  was a coward  because  i had chosen to come out to as she put it  'the weakest link'; my queer sister and not my dad.

I thought about her remarks, somehow i felt she was right, but i also felt she was being harsh because for me the  decision to tell  my sister  was  to build a support base.  Right now I  feel  i  will not be able to deal with negative energy or prejudice because i am only looking one way,that is forward..

This may seem selfish, but i also realise life is too short to try and make everyone but yourself happy.Yet  for me, my happiness and transition will  also rely on my family's support and love, hence  my predicament, fear of the unknown.

It' s so easy to come out to strangers on this blog, yet it's so hard to tell my family   exactly who i am in my own words. I have browsed through blogs, videos and books  searching for advice on coming out  to family as  trans*, i figured there was nothing  for me. My  truth is different from other people's, there is no cut and paste  formula for coming out because  for some of us  coming out, like transitioning  is a  process  and not a glamourised event..So help me God!